David Michael 6 Months
Grace 6 Months

Grace 4 months
David Michael 4 months

TRUE STORY:

- atleast one kids shoes were not remembered more than once
- Father's Day attempt at going out to eat, ended in us leaving after a paci was thrown across the restaurant and a newborn wouldn't stop screaming.
- car was packed for a long weekend trip and after an hour or screaming we turned around and came back home.
- we never leave the house house after 1pm
- we have pacifiers in every room in the house
- the washing machine runs daily
- never leave the house without the stroller, oh and wipes, and diapers, pacis, snacks, water, and a change of clothes- no not just for the kids, but for you too


- bedtime is 7:30 and I don't ever see that changing
- I buy three different kinds of milk every week
- I actually do still like chic-fil-a even though that is the only place we ever eat and maybe that is because food is really just a necessity around here
- The only movies I watched in the past three years have been ones I watch in the middle of the night while feeding a baby or up with a sick baby
- Our freezer has more breastmilk in it than anything
- Mommy is said 100 no 1000 no 10000 times a day
- 6 hours of sleep is AWESOME!

BETTER STORY:

- I am loved by three little hearts
- When they say, "mommy" I know I am needed
- When I am lacking sleep it is because I get to hold my baby
- I haven't watched movies in forever because I get to play with my kids
- I buy three different kinds of milk because all three of my kids are healthy
- The washing machine runs daily because we have a wonderful husband and father who provides for us
- We forget shoes because we have shoes to wear

As much as I like to complain, feel sorry for myself, feel worn out... I have to remember that I have been blessed with the greatest blessings in the world; my kids.

Being transparent for a little bit, I have been in a serious body funk lately. It doesn't matter how frequent I try to reassure myself that it takes time (6 months with both Grace & David Michael), self doubt and criticism slowly creeps in and engulfs my thoughts. I'm not enough: not skinny enough, not dressed well enough, not pretty enough, not enough.

I am not one of those women who gain minimal weight during pregnancy. It doesn't matter how strict my diet is or how much I exercise while pregnant... I gain weight. I am not one of those women who can breastfeed and all the weight will melt off. I exclusively nursed Grace for 12 months and David Michael for 9, so I know from experience it takes more than that. I am not one of those women who can just work out and fit back in my jeans. It takes discipline.

So as I look down at the scale almost four months post-partum with 14 more pounds to go...

Then I am reminded that this body and all of its lumps, marks, cellulite and all; has housed three beautiful babies. Only God can make my children so perfect, in each and every way.

Negative body image is something I have struggled with my entire life. This is not new to me. Thankfully the Lord has pulled in out of the self doubt. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." I am so grateful for a God who doesn't see me from the outside but from my heart within. "For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."  You and I have been created in the image of our God. Our purpose is to reflect His image to a lost world.

The worst part of struggling with body image issues is the pull it has on me to be self-focused. I was not created to focus on myself. I am here on this earth to bring Glory, NOT to myself, but to my Savior. Thankfully there is hope! There is freedom in our Lord Jesus Christ! Yes, I will always struggle with the flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12) of this world, but I am thankful for the Gospel that has given me the tools to fight and overcome.