The past two and a half years have been the most difficult of my life. When Grace was only one, Michael and I were looking into the future and decided that it would be the best for our family if I went back to school and pursued my Masters in Teaching. (And let me just remind you that Michael had just received his seminary degree- more school was not an easy decision)
Being transparent, I am the type of person who is very independent as well as a perfectionist. Throughout this process the Lord had to really work on my heart.
(Psalm 73:26
) “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” And fail I did. I learned that I could not handle or manage everything I desired to. I wanted and desired to wear all of my hats: mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, housekeeper, cook, runner and discipler. The Lord had to really work on my heart and teacher me that, "It is the
Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or
forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed". (Deuteronomy 31:8)
I have always enjoyed teaching and children, but attending school was a very difficult decision for me. Before Grace was born I had been working as a Certified Ophthalmologist Assistant and absolutely loved me job! Then once I began staying home with Grace I thought I had found my dream job! The reality is that kids are expensive and me not generating income forever just is not fee sable. I had tried selling clothes that I had sewn, I tried generating money from my blog, I tried selling anything that we did not need, I tried watching other children in my home, but none of those were enough. So I found myself at Anderson University changing careers.
The Masters in Teaching program is set up to last two and a half years. The classes were 8 weeks long and usually were either on Monday or Thursday evenings or both from 5:30-9:30.
After I found out that I had been accepted into the program we also found out that David Michael was on the way. We still decided that I would begin the program and take it one day at a time. Thankfully, when David Michael was born I only had one more class before Christmas break and I was able to enjoy a nice long Christmas break with my little guy. Going back to class was anything but easy. Thankfully I have an amazing husband who took wonderful care of my babies even when it meant holding a screaming baby for hours, because the bottle just wouldn't do. As a family we pushed through.
Then my next to last semester, Emma came along. Thankfully it worked out where I only had a few remaining classes and then summer break (believe me that was NOT planned). Michael and I had some wonderful friends who helped him with the kids during those classes.
No matter how much I tried to not let my schooling affect my family, there was no way around it. Any spare time I had was filled with papers, lesson plans, studying and preparing. Usually after the kids went to bed I hit the books and then on Saturday Michael played the single dad role as he took care of the kids. This really played a role on my heart, as I felt that I was missing out on so much! You would think after two years of school, I might be a little numb to missing out, but it never got any easier.
Finally, the long awaited semester of student teaching... I had been praying fervently that I would be placed with a Godly, understanding (because I would need to pump multiple times while at school), and someone I could learn a lot from. God definitely answered my prayers and more! I am convinced that I had the best teacher in the world and now not only can I call her my teacher, but my friend. She was someone I could laugh with, cry with, confide in, learn from and pray with.
I am definitely happy to say now, that I have a teaching degree, but also so very happy that this stage of my life is behind me.
I would have never finished school without the support of my loving husband. He pushed me when I needed it, watched kids for endless hours and days, and encouraged me when all I could do was cry.
In these pictures I see a lot of grey hair, tired eyes, exhausted bodies, but a lot of love. Even though this was a late night for the kids (and all Emma wanted to do was nurse), and the quality is not great, I had been looking forward to this picture for two and a half years. I had even dreamed of this day! The kids might not remember mom leaving all of those nights or even know the late nights that their momma was up, but they can always look back at this picture and be encouraged that anything is possible "through Christ who strengthens me".
Psalm 29:1-2
Ascribe to the LORD, O sons of the mighty, Ascribe to the LORD
glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory due to His name;
Worship the LORD in holy array.
