10 Things "New Dads" Need to Learn About "New Moms"


There are a lot of instructions and advice out there about what to do with your new little bundle of joy, but nothing about what to do the this "New Mom". I came up with a list of 10 things that "New Dads" need to know about their wife who is now a "New Mom".(I know this because I just went through it) "New Dads" you might want to print this out and keep it in your pocket for a reminder every 5 minutes or so?

1. New Mom feels ugly. There are so many emotions and conflicted feelings about how she feels about her body right now. On one hand, she it truly amazing because she did just grow a human being and then delivered it into this world, pretty much completely by herself. (Yes you were there, but that is beside the point) But on the other hand, she feels disgusting! Her body is sagging, leaking, and new marks have appeared that will NEVER go away! On top of it most of her clothes do not fit, which equals one ugly feeling mama. This is a great time to be VERY vocal about how you feel about her. When you look at her and your new little one tell her how you feel. When she tries on the 10th outfit and the tears well up her in eyes, remind her what makes her beautiful! She NEEDS to hear these things and NOW!

2. New Mom is obsessed with baby. No matter how she feels about this baby she is completely obsessed. She will want to take pictures every minute (and if she is like me post them on facebook to see how many other people agree with her). New Dad, you might feel neglected, but it is not intentional. 

3. New Mom is scared. One word: SIDS. So many options out there, which one is right and some of them could be deadly. She is scared because things are not going the way she had exscpeted. When you just think she is being hormonal (which is mostly true) don't tell her what you think, it doesn't help because she doesn't completely know how she feels. Just listen. Remind her that she is NOT in control. Remind her that you are right beside her. And most importantly her Heaven Father is completely in control and holding that little baby every second. She NEEDS to hear this over and over again!

4. New Mom feels defensive. There is so much advice: books, moms, friends, people at the grocery store, blogs... All of this advice can make her very defensive. She is doing the best she can or she wouldn't be doing it the way she is. Be her biggest fan, after all, God gave her this baby He must think she can handle it!

5. New Mom can't get mad at the baby. Logically, New Mom knows that the reason she is exhausted, smells of milk, has a filthy house, and nothing is put together is because of this baby. Which means she takes everything out on you. She really doesn't mean it, and it doesn't justify it, but it sure would be nice if you could just take it.

6. New Mom has nothing to wear. This really goes back to #1. Her pre-baby clothes don't fit, and her maternity clothes do (how depressing!!!). She doesn't want to buy anything because hopefully she will not be this size long, but take her to get a few things that will make her feel pretty. 

7. New Mom needs protection. Don't you know that women want knights on white horses. They want their men to be protective and assertive. When she becomes a New Mom, there is too much going on in her head and heart and she needs this more than ever. She doesn't want to be the bad guy, or to fight the cable company, or to call the bank. She doesn't want you to be zoned out to what is going on, she wants to be protected. She needs a barrier of sorts to the outside world. Just say, "Let me handle this".

8. New Mom needs permission to rest. Us women believe we really can do it all.  That even though all these other women do not have it together we will be the ones to break the mold. We are superwoman after all, which turns into a big mess. (literally) Make a point to tell her the baby is sleeping, you are going to clean the dishes, and she should take a nap. 

9. New Mom needs to be asked what she needs. She is still trying to be superwoman, so just ask her what she needs.

10.New Mom REALLY loves you. One of the best parts of being a mom is watching you become a dad. She loves watching you interact with this little human. She loves seeing you through them. Every time you bond with your baby, you are also bonding with her. She has dreamed of this family for 9 months and now she is seeing it come alive. Nothing could be better for you or her! (if you know what I mean ;) )


So there it is. I hope this will help you see a few things through her eyes.

6 comments:

  1. I just commented as my husband :) Ooops! But great post! I will have to share it with him! lol

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    Replies
    1. Thanks. I learned all these things because my husband is amazing and did all these things!

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  2. Aw, I will have to show this to my husband. Thanks for posting!

    ReplyDelete

Hi! I'm Katie. Wife to Michael. Mom to Grace, David Michael & Emma. Christ Follower. Runner. Stay at home mommy.
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